The best thing you can do is make them feel supported and loved, and to let them know that you’re here for them. Reach out and ask how they’re feeling—sometimes, people are so mindful of giving grieving parents space that they take too much distance, making them feel alone. 

You could say kind, simple things, like, “I’m so sorry for your loss” and “I’m here for you, do you want to talk?”, or offer practical help. For example, “Would you like me to pick up your other children from school?” 

What you don’t want to do is avoid talking about the situation, making suggestions for what they could do to feel better, or telling them that they can always have another baby. This diminishes their grief and what they’re going through—another baby will never be a replacement for the child they’ve lost.

No matter the stage, pregnancy loss can be a devastating experience. But help is available and you aren’t alone. 

There are a number of charities, resources, support groups, and expert-led courses to help you process your feelings and start to heal. You might want to read about other people’s experiences or attend a support group, or speak directly with experts.

At Parla, we run masterclasses that teach practices and share self-care tools to help you find strength after loss. Explore our courses here

It’s much more common than a lot of people realise. Early pregnancy loss happens during the first trimester, and affects one in five pregnancies.

Grief is a deeply personal experience, and for some, it can take weeks, months, or even years after the loss for them to feel it. This is known as delayed grief. 

It can happen when that person isn’t able to fully process their reaction right away. For example, they could feel shocked or overwhelmed, or be too busy dealing with other things (such as funeral arrangements) to give their feelings the time and space to emerge. 

Grief is not a linear process and looks different for everyone. So, even if someone doesn’t seem like they’re grieving, remember to be kind, patient, and understanding with them as they adjust to life after their loss. 

Sometimes called “complicated grief”, this is when feelings of loss and other painful emotions don’t get better over a number of months or years, to the point where it holds you back from participating in your own life. You might be able to focus on little else than your loss or have trouble accepting it. 

If you’re struggling with this, remember that help is available. You can refer yourself directly for talking therapy or speak with your GP first about what might be best.

There’s no “right” or “wrong” way to grieve, but in order to heal, we need to feel all our feelings so that we can process them. 

Some people find that keeping busy helps them to cope, but packing your schedule too tightly might mean that you aren’t giving yourself the time and energy you need to process your feelings. This can result in delayed grief—when your feelings creep up weeks, months, or years after the fact. 

It takes time to work through grief, so be kind to yourself.