According to the Fertility Network, in the UK, 1 in 6 couples experience issues with fertility and over 50,000 people begin fertility treatments every year, 85% of whom say that it affects their day-to-day work. Apart from the significant time that needs to be devoted to seeing healthcare professionals, fertility treatments, such as IVF, are often linked with physical and mental challenges. Infertility can affect every aspect of your life: physically, emotionally, romantically, financially and professionally. At Parla, we are committed to changing the conversations around fertility and the topic of fertility and work is definitely in one that desperately requires additional attention and awareness! In this blog, we;ll be sharing advice on speaking to your employers about your fertility journey as well as discussing your legal rights.
Sharing with your manager and employees
According research done on LinkedIn, 17% of workers do not discuss their fertility issues with their employers as they fear it would hinder their career prospects, and 39% did not discuss miscarriage with their employer.
But why is it important to share your plans and struggles with your employer?
Many IVF treatments, surrogate options, and other routes may require you and your partner to spend significant time visiting doctors (although every TTC route is different).
This fact alone is reason enough to give your manager a head’s up. Here are some other reasons to open up at work:
- The support you may receive can have a positive impact on your fertility journey;
- Frequent requests for time off, particularly if unexplained, can lead to an employer triggering disciplinary procedures or even considering an employee’s capability to do the job – this means it may be a lot easier if they understand the reasons!
- You will be raising awareness and normalising conversations about fertility, creating a better culture at your workplace; keeping it a secret strengthens the stigma;
- You will be able to negotiate expectations and plan your responsibilities and commitments ahead adequately;
- If your workplace turns out to be supportive, the feeling of safety, support and happiness could increase your motivation, productivity and loyalty to the company in the long-term with a positive influence on your career progression;
- Brief, direct and honest discussion can be a huge relief and help reduce stress
But how should you go about it?
Request a meeting in private where you let your manager know you’d like to speak about a confidential, personal matter. If for any reason you don’t feel you can trust him or her, HR may help in delivering them the news. There are a few things you should discuss:
- Express your commitment to the jobs and plans for the future;
- Talk honestly about expectations – what you can deliver and when?
- Take responsibility – explain what you have planned, and what strategies you have in place to continue meeting your goals (or new goals) at work (eg. ways to work more efficiently, strategies to collaborate with other team members etc.) )
- Be honest about your performance – your employer will appreciate that you have the company’s best interest in mind!
If you are still worried about your position, keep in mind that it’s probably costly and operationally challenging for your employer to hire and train a replacement for you! Most companies do care about their retention rates and reputation.
Regarding the LinkedIn research above, in response to the findings, they are encouraging users to post about their experiences in order to help lift the stigma of talking about fertility struggles at work (if you want to join the conversation, use the hashtag #FertilityAtWork), which is a great initiative! We also love to encourage you to share your experience, worries and thoughts with members of the Parla community or if you’d like some support from experts on Parla do connect with them in our in app community.
How to balance fertility treatments and work
Depending on your employer, role and your fertility treatment, there are various options for balancing treatment schedule and work commitments.
It’s important to take the time to think realistically about the treatment schedule and ensure you build in some breaks and time for self-care. Fertility treatments can have a tremendous impact on you emotionally and physically and the last thing you want is to have the added stress of a difficult work schedule.
Hopefully with some careful planning and an understanding manager and team you will be able to slow down at certain times to accommodate both the demands of the treatments and work. What you want to avoid is a vicious cycle of stress between treatment and work. Here are a few tips to consider:
- Evaluate what are your priorities and values to understand how much time you want to spend on work, social life, treatment etc;
- Have a focused discussion with your doctor to help you anticipate the process and plan accordingly;
- Consider requesting flexible working to accommodate your medical appointments
- Think about negotiating a temporary change to working patterns (if needed);
- You may want to decide purposefully which projects to take on and which ones to postpone;
- Plan how to incorporate other ways that can help you achieve balance and de-stress – sport, yoga and others;
- Consider if your work could also act as a positive distraction;
- Think about your long-term career plans and if there are ways to phase them in light of your life and family goals;
- Consider your finances and if you are eligible for any funding for fertility treatments. Perhaps this can reduce the pressure on having to work full-time;
Everyone’s different and thus our experiences with balancing work and fertility may be different. What can help is a discussion with friends, family and a community of experts and experienced individuals who’ve been in a similar position! Join us in the Parla community, share your thoughts and learn from others!
Knowing your legal rights
Although there are no standardised legal rights to time off for infertility investigations or treatment, time off for medical appointments related to fertility should be treated in the same way as any other medical appointment. Another important thing to keep in mind is that you are legally considered to be pregnant after embryo transfer (but not before), and entitled to the same protection from unfavourable treatment (1). If you want to learn more from a legal perspective, there are a number of useful online resources.For example, Fertility Network UK runs workshops and Acas and Maternity Action have a wealth of information.
Understanding your employer benefits
In 2016, when the Fertility Network UK undertook a survey, only half of the people reported that they received support at work and only a quarter of companies had specific policies in place regarding fertility and work. Has the situation improved since? We hope so!
Movements like #metoo, the rise of femtech, awareness of #genderpaygap is helping HR and companies become more aware of and put more emphasis on supporting flexibility, equality and diversity. Family-friendly employers and those that have more defined IVF policies are more likely to attract and retain women, according to HR experts. We can also see more and more guidance and advice from different committees and HR advisors on how to support employees who are on fertility treatments, such as the EHRC’s Employment Statutory Code of Practice.
You can either check in you company’s policy or talk to HR about:
- Sick leave/ bereavement leave after miscarraige;
- Maternity and paternity leave policies;
- If IVF is included in “medical leave” (as it should!);
- Is flexibility allowed? Can you work from home?
- Does your company offer employer-funded counselling?
- Are there any stories of flexible career development and progression?
Have you had any experience working while undergoing fertility treatment? We’d love to hear about it! Join the conversation at Parla.
