TTC self care tips for the holidays 🎄

TTC self care tips for the festive holiday season: we need them. The winter holidays can be lovely. For many of us this is when we unplug to spend time with friends and family, indulge and celebrate!

However, if you’re trying to conceive or navigating grief after pregnancy loss, this season can be difficult. Our stress levels may be high and our emotional resilience low, which can make dealing with triggers, difficult conversations and our grief even harder.

Setting boundaries and practicing self care are your biggest allies this December, so here’s some tips on making time for you in the midst of Christmas madness.

The classic “so…when baby” question

Nearly every woman is hit with this, whether single, engaged, newlywed or actively trying to conceive. An almost guaranteed question asked by well-meaning, sometimes nosy relatives: “So, when do you think you’ll have a kid?”. This can be annoying and frustrating for anyone, but if you are dealing with loss or struggling to conceive, it can be truly painful.  

Firstly, remember this is a personal question, and you don’t need to answer – and it’s totally ok to educate the person asking you about how inappropriate it is. However, that might take more strength than you can muster right now, and that’s ok. Give what answer feels comfortable to you right now – it could be that you tell a white lie, it could be that you joke it off – whatever you need to do, do it.

Your support network can be really helpful in these situations. Maybe considering discussing with your partner ahead of time how you want to deal with these questions – or if you feel comfortable, have someone else in your family explain to everyone – ahead of time – that these questions aren’t welcome at the Christmas table. Your family and friends will want to love and support you, so sometimes, whilst transparency can leave you feeling vulnerable, honesty is the best policy – but that doesn’t mean you have to be the one making announcements.

Yet another pregnancy announcement 🤰

Families are gathered in one place over the holidays, making this peak time for Good-News-Announcements. That includes pregnancy announcements. If you’re trying (or struggling) to conceive, or experiencing pregnancy loss this is understandably difficult. Of course you’re happy to hear good news, but feeling your feelings doesn’t make you a bad person. This is natural. 

If you’re keeping your TTC journey private, or dealing with baby loss, give yourself time to feel what you need to. The top tip I’ve had here: only deal with what you can. If you need to leave the room after a pregnancy announcement, that’s fine.. People will understand, especially those who care about you. Prioritise yourself and allow yourself to feel sad or upset if you need to. Express your happiness for others once you can. 

Journaling can be really helpful if you’re feeling a swell of emotions in a family setting. Take yourself off for a little while, let everything out on paper and see if you feel any better. You might find that seeing your feelings written down helps you find some calm and clarity.

Get ON social media, just the good bits

Well-intentioned self-care tips advise unplugging over the holidays, but this can feel simplistic and unrealistic. TTC or working through the grief of baby loss can be isolating in itself. It can feel like literally everyone is having the “best xmas ever!” while you’re on a long, lonely journey. Don’t go it alone: reach out, or view things that help you stay grounded. 

My tip is use social media wisely this festive season. Follow accounts on Instagram that support you through your journey, people who ‘get it’. Engage in community – groups like the Parla Community in our app are there for you to vent, share a positive thought, or reach out to someone feeling similarly. Share TTC self care tips with each other. 

Everyone deals with things differently, so if you feel you’re better without – do unplug and get off social. 

Follow TTC self care tips this season

Let yourself breathe. It’s okay if your TTC nutrition plan slips. It’s okay if you’ve been teary about your cousin’s baby gripping your finger. You’re human, you’re doing your best.  

The holidays can be an intense time, with family visits, present shopping and food prepping – but ensure you’re taking some time out each day for you. Even if it’s just ten minutes, try to do small, meaningful things that help you stay centered. Meditate, drink a cup of tea mindfully or take yourself for a walk.

If you want to explore stress relief, we’ve got meditations here at Parla that have helped friends and family get through the festive season in good spirits. My sister’s been starting her morning with our Cycle Day Meditations – it’s grounding gets her ready for the day ahead.