At Parla, we love sharing blogs written by our members or shared in the TTC community. We believe that in sharing our experiences we can empower and help each other and help women struggling with infertility to feel less alone. Some of these personal blogs include “Fertility journey” and “My journey to motherhood”.
Through our blog, you can also discover stories that deal with secondary infertility, missed miscarriage and that give advice on how to cope with infertility.
This week we feature a story from the brilliant campaign “Walk in our shoes” which shares stories, and raises awareness of, involuntary childlessness.
Isolation and stigma: Katie’s experience of infertility
I never dreamed of becoming a mother. Growing up, my focus was finding a career and being independent. I didn’t think much about marrying, either, but when I was 23, it happened. My husband and I agreed we didn’t want children.
Slowly, as we grew older, that changed. I feel this an important part of my story because despite some ambivalence about having children, infertility has still been the most crushing experience of my life. We started trying to get pregnant when I was 29. I had been on birth control for many years, and after I stopped taking it, each monthly cycle became more painful than the last, and I wasn’t getting pregnant. I finally visited my doctor to explore ways to manage my pain, and with an ultrasound discovered I had large cysts on my ovaries that were rupturing. Long story short, surgery revealed cysts, endometriosis and a large fibroid. In one year I had three surgeries and two miscarriages.
My last surgery was a hysterectomy. It was a difficult decision but I felt the need to end my physical pain, and decided against IVF for many reasons. I realised through infertility that we live in a culture that promotes and rewards motherhood, and women without children are often viewed as less than, ignorant, pitied or seen as selfish.
This is the hardest part of infertility for me: stigma and isolation. I don’t belong. I am other. But
“the pain will change you: it doesn’t have to define you.”
Don’t pity me. I am bigger than loss and grief. I am so sad and strong.
How Parla empowers women on their road to motherhood
If you find yourself in a situation where you need help during your fertility journey, Parla is here to guide you.
